And this time around, whatever I do will matter. Not only to me, but to the patient, and the other more senior doctors.

Strange thing is, I feel no different. I still feel like a medical student at this point. I suppose it will change this Monday. I will be the one ordering the tests (based on the consultants/registrars suggestions/orders), and following up the test results, among other things. Not only because I am interested in the results, but because its now my Job. Yes, this time, I’m getting paid for it!

Problem with that is, of course, I hold significant responsibility now. Medical students are responsible to no one but the school and themselves, as long as they do not do something that a proper doctor has yet to authorize them to do. As an intern, I hold the normal responsibility as that of, well, a doctor, mainly because now I AM a doctor. Luckily, I have the safety nets of the registrars and consultants if I do not know something.

Still, I find it a bit scary. I just hope I don’t screw it up. Oh, I know its unlikely I’ll kill a patient with the safety nets mentioned above (as long as I use them!), but at this point I’m more scared about forgetting or screwing up the basic things like fluids, drug charts, and ward notes. And of course the more serious stuff like a patient with sepsis, shock, etc.

This may change as the 30th rolls around. I hope it does, for the better.

With all that said, I’m still optimistic. I’ll be having a great time, I’m sure.